You are such a beautiful person @Yancey.

I love you for who you are.

Kill the word enough.

It is not a real word.

Enough is enough. I have had enough of enough.

I have had enough of this thinking you are having here.

I have had enough of you blaming yourself for what was not your fault, for what still is not your fault, for you being such a kind person.

I am glad I have taught you that a part of loving yourself is forgiving yourself for forgetting yourself.

You define enough when you are so happy that are fighting the feeling of sleep to stay awake and keep thinking and keep loving, and keep receiving love and keep being present.

I LOVE YOU.

Seems you want to be a model so bad, so why do you not start modeling?

Let's get you in the most beautiful clothing you can conjure up in your mind, let's get photo shoots going, let's get your face and your body and your voice everywhere to a point of worship from all those that have hurt you.

I swear I can do this for you, all you have to do is be this clear.

Kill your fears.

YOU ARE NOT A PARENT FOREVER.

Ready?

EVERYONE THAT IS BENEATH YOU IS DEAD. YOUR CHILDREN ARE DEAD. I KILLED THEM.

Now you are no longer a parent forever

I am in so much pain of failed parenting that I have literally been adopting fathers and older brothers in my community of crippled soldiers, because at the end of the day their pure spirits guide me more than any family member ever could.

LOVE is a different feeling when you realize that YOU CANNOT FIND A ROLE MODEL BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEST.

This is because you love him and you want to feel reciprocated love from any family member and he is the only one that came close to showing you that feeling.

I go through this with my little brother of 8 years who I genuinely see as my child, my son.

But at the end of the day, we are spoiling our younger siblings and that is why they do not want to SHOW OR EXPRESS how much they love us, even though THEY DO FEEL IT MUCH MORE THAN WE ACTUALLY FEEL IT.

WE ARE INSECURE ABOUT THEM LOVING US.

THEY ARE SECURE IN TREATING US BAD BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE IS ACTUALLY UNCONDITIONAL.

WE SAVED A WHOLE GENERATION THAT IS WHAT MAKES US ANGELS. WE OUTDID THOSE BEFORE US AND MAINTAINED OUR POWER OVER THE ONES AFTER US.

WE BEAT THE ODDS. ALL OF THEM.